besides the fact that the sun has finally broken, i find that i want it to disappear. with the mail today came news that we have kinda been expecting, yet, not really wanting to hear about. i find myself horribly torn between what i am hoping is the truth, and the things i have heard. the news brings it to a whole 'nother reality when faced with actual papers in black and white. i hate when things are out of my control; our control.
right now, i want the sun to disappear and i want to go back to bed and not get out until i want to....
i find it interesting in the fact that "bullying" goes on everyday everywhere in some form- verbally, physically, and yet it has somehow found our doorstep. i find it interesting when we were faced with it, the "people" did not want to hear from us (basically because we were not from here, and obviously do not have the right last name nor related to the right people), but, that aside....how interesting that one act of accidental can totally change the direction of life, and yet as i listen to the news, i find that this fact will never change.
i used to think it was simply a kid thing, but, i find it obviously can occur at any age. life can completely change and the direction, hopes, aspirations can radically change.
so life is interesting, apparently good, bad or completely otherwise; but, right now, i just want the tears to come and wash away the dirt. i just want to get to the other side and maybe, but, not necessarily see the rainbow.
What the heck is happening?
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